However, I must tell you how this atrocious situation arose: ruined, unjustly robbed (due to a mistake of the tax authorities) the death of my dear mother at the same time, too much grief to defend myself, the theatrical crisis of no more contracts without resorting to underhanded tactics, I am not that kind of person, and apart from giving my heartfelt sincerity to the public I have never been able to fight. So, as I did not want to ask anything from anyone, the despair caused by neurasthenia overwhelmed me. I wanted to end it all. Alas! Because of my dear little dog (all I have left on earth), I was saved. I say alas because my situation is the very one that had driven me to suicide.
I am therefore without any resources and to continue the healing of this left lung that I have perforated I need to continue the treatment of the injections requiring me to return to the Hospital every three weeks. So during these three months of travelling, there is the expense of the person who will have to accompany me, and even the cost of accommodation, even in a modest place: taking care of one’s health is all well and good, but you need to be able to afford it.
I owed you all these explanations and I apologize for taking up your time, which is too precious to be wasted, just as I would never have dared visit you at the Comédie Française during the long years, and I can confess to you now that if I had behaved differently, I would have entered it like so many others, but by means which I found distasteful.
I am sure that your noble soul understands me and gives me its esteem as you do not doubt the respectful admiration that I have always had for you. I take the liberty of sending Madame Fabre heartfelt greetings. Yours faithfully… My address is Hospital Beaujon; I have no other. The director will keep my correspondence and sign on my behalf.”
Polaire
Born into penury and raised in Algeria, Polaire sought to escape her circumstances by joining her brother as a café singer in Paris. Adopting a stage name that meant “Polar” she began her career singing in music halls becoming increasingly famous as she attracted attention through her appearance, which included closely-cropped hair (nearly two decades before it came into fashion), short skirts, luxurious furs and jewels, a nose ring, evocative Middle Eastern eye makeup, and, most notably, her corseted waist which measured 14-16 inches in diameter. Portrayed by Toulouse-Lautrec on a magazine cover in 1895, Polaire transitioned to serious theater, starring in Colette’s Claudine à Paris at the Théâtre des Bouffes Parisiens and, in 1906, Emile Fabre’s play Les Sauterelles at Paris’ Théâtre du Vaudeville. Polaire appeared frequently on the London and New York stage billing herself as the “ugliest woman in the world.” She also appeared in several films, at least one of which features her famous “Apache” dance, before her popularity waned.
In 1938, Polaire was found unconscious and was hospitalized with slashed wrists in what a newspaper reported was a suicide attempt. “Oversized headlines on the front page of the newspapers read: ‘Polaire wants to live’ or ‘Yes, that night I wanted to die, says Polaire.’ Reporters rushed to interview her at the Hospital Beaujon ‘in a small white room, in a small white bed,’” (Creating Colette, Francis and Gontier). Polaire died of unknown causes on October 14, 1939, a little more than a year after composing our letter.
Written on the recto and verso of two sheets of blue paper. Folded with normal creasing and wear and in excellent condition. Rare.
